Why Your Partner Might Keep Giving You BV and What to Do

Ever wonder why BV keeps coming back no matter how many times you treat it? Yeah, I’ve been there. At first, I thought it was just one of those random things that flared up out of nowhere. But after my third bout in six months, I had to ask myself — can a partner keep giving you BV? Spoiler: The answer isn’t as straightforward as a simple yes or no, but it’s way more common than most people realize. Let’s unpack this without the medical jargon overload — just real talk, facts, and a touch of my own experience.

Understanding the BV Mystery Loop

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) isn’t a classic sexually transmitted infection (STI), but it’s definitely linked to sexual activity. When I first asked my OB-GYN if my partner could be reinfecting me, she didn’t dismiss it. Instead, she hinted at a complex dance of bacteria exchange, pH shifts, and yes — lifestyle habits that sometimes come from the person you’re sleeping with.

What Actually Causes BV to Begin With?

Let’s keep it simple: BV happens when the natural balance of good and bad bacteria in your vagina tips the wrong way. Typically, lactobacilli keep everything in check. When these good guys dip, bad bacteria like Gardnerella vaginalis take over.

• Unprotected sex
• New sexual partners
• Douching
• Hormonal changes

Sound familiar? Yeah, many of these are tied directly to our partners — or how we respond to them physically.

How Your Partner Might Be Part of the Problem

Here’s the kicker: even if your partner doesn’t show symptoms (because, biologically, most male bodies don’t react to BV bacteria), they can still carry and transmit the bacteria back to you during sex. This is especially true if they’ve never been treated or tested — which, spoiler, they usually aren’t because there are no standard BV tests for men.

Unprotected Sex = Bacteria Exchange

When there’s no barrier between your vaginal microbiome and your partner’s bacteria, it’s like throwing open the doors to every microbe they’ve ever hosted. That may sound dramatic, but it’s reality.

Read more on how sexual activity influences BV and what to watch for.

What About Female Partners?

Yep, the same risks apply. In fact, women with female partners may experience even higher recurrence rates because the bacterial exchange can be even more direct through shared toys, fingers, and oral sex — all without protection in most cases.

If you’re in a same-sex relationship, don’t miss these hygiene habits that could unknowingly trigger BV.

Should Your Partner Be Treated Too?

This is where things get fuzzy. Most guidelines — like those from CDC or NHS — don’t officially recommend partner treatment for BV. But research is growing in support of it. From personal experience, when my partner used an antibacterial wash and practiced safe sex for a month, my BV didn’t come back for the first time in a year.

Things to Try with Your Partner

1. Use condoms consistently for at least 2-3 months
2. Both partners maintain genital hygiene
3. Consider probiotics or antibacterial wipes for both partners
4. Talk honestly about past partners and health routines

There’s an in-depth breakdown on whether partner treatment helps prevent BV recurrence.

When BV Keeps Coming Back

Recurrence is exhausting. I know because it feels like you’re doing everything right — probiotics, no douching, no new partners — and yet here we are again. It’s not just frustrating, it’s also emotionally draining. And yes, potentially linked to your partner not being treated or underlying lifestyle issues that aren’t being addressed.

If you’re stuck in that loop, definitely read this guide on BV relapse after antibiotics — it opened my eyes to some subtle habits I had overlooked.

Look at Your Lifestyle Together

Some couples unintentionally fall into habits that fuel BV recurrence:

• Sex right after workouts (sweaty, tight clothes, no cleanup)
• Frequent oral sex without hygiene precautions
• Back-to-front wiping after intimacy (seriously, this matters!)

And then there’s diet. Believe it or not, what you both eat might be affecting your microbiomes. Check out how sugar and diet choices link to BV.

So… Can a Partner Keep Giving You BV?

Short answer? Yes — but not always intentionally or obviously. Long-term, the best solution is open communication, shared responsibility, and maybe changing up what hasn’t been working.

For a deeper look into root causes and prevention strategies, I highly recommend exploring the full BV recurrence and prevention guide — it’s one of the most useful overviews out there. And of course, don’t miss the main resource hub on Bacterial Vaginosis for everything you need in one place.

How to Break the BV Cycle — Together

If you’re still asking, “can a partner keep giving you BV?” — you’re not alone. After months of frustrating recurrences, I finally realized that managing BV isn’t just *my* responsibility. It’s about teamwork. When my partner and I started looking at our routines and habits as a unit, everything changed. Not overnight, but steadily.

Mutual Hygiene Habits That Actually Help

This isn’t about blaming anyone — it’s about awareness. BV thrives in environments that disrupt the natural flora, so even subtle things your partner does (or doesn’t do) might be contributing. Here’s what worked for us:

• Daily genital hygiene using mild, unscented soap (for both of us)
• Washing hands thoroughly before intimacy (especially with fingers or toys)
• Cleaning sex toys before and after use — every time
• Avoiding saliva as a lubricant — it sounds harmless, but it’s not great for vaginal flora

This guide on safe sex tips to avoid BV was a major eye-opener for us, and worth the read.

Timing and Frequency Matter

Another personal note: when BV was recurring often, we took a short break from sex. I know, not the most fun advice — but it gave my body time to rebalance without added friction, fluid, and bacteria. We also made intimacy more about connection than pressure during that phase, and honestly, it helped us grow closer.

What Role Do Probiotics Play?

I used to think probiotics were just for gut health, but it turns out vaginal probiotics are a whole thing. I started taking them daily, and within weeks I felt a noticeable difference — fewer flare-ups, less discomfort, and way more confidence in my body.

And guess what? My partner started taking probiotics too (mainly for gut health), but we both noticed we were getting sick less and feeling better overall. Coincidence? Maybe. But I’m not messing with what works.

Check out this super detailed breakdown of how probiotics affect BV and which strains to look for.

Can Diet Really Affect BV Recurrence?

Short answer: yup. BV loves sugar — or more accurately, the bad bacteria do. My partner and I both cut down on refined sugars, started drinking more water, and added fermented foods like kefir, yogurt, and kimchi to our meals. It wasn’t a massive diet overhaul, just smarter choices.

These foods to avoid when prone to BV made it easier to know what to skip and what to stock in the fridge.

Is Treatment Together the Future?

Honestly, I think it should be. While most doctors still treat BV like a solo issue, newer studies are showing that treating both partners — or at least making mutual changes — can reduce recurrence. And let’s be real: it just makes sense.

If one person is treated but the other isn’t making any adjustments, it’s like putting out a fire while someone’s still tossing matches. Not blaming, just being real. If your partner truly supports your health, they’ll want to help, not unintentionally undo the progress.

Take a deeper dive into how long BV treatment typically takes and what realistic expectations look like.

What to Ask Your Doctor (Together)

Consider making your next gynecologist appointment a team visit. No joke — having my partner hear things directly from a professional shifted the whole vibe. Here are a few questions to ask:

1. Can both partners use antibacterial washes?
2. Is there any benefit to treating male or female partners preventatively?
3. Would switching birth control affect recurrence?
4. Are there safer lubricants or condoms that won’t trigger imbalance?

You’ll also find some useful info about common BV medications like Metronidazole and Boric Acid that might help the conversation.

Don’t Ignore BV During Pregnancy

If you’re pregnant or trying to conceive, BV becomes even more important to manage proactively. It’s been linked to preterm labor and other complications, so definitely keep your OB-GYN in the loop. If I had known what I know now during my first trimester, I would’ve pushed for testing and treatment a lot sooner.

See this complete guide on treating BV safely during pregnancy — it covers everything I wish I’d asked earlier.

You’re Not Alone — And You’re Not Imagining It

For so long, I felt like BV was this silent struggle no one talked about. And worse, I felt like maybe I was just doing something wrong. But once I opened up, started researching, and got my partner involved — it stopped feeling so isolating.

If you’re going through this, please know there are answers, support, and real strategies that work. The cycle can be broken. Your partner can absolutely be part of the solution — and should be.

For more ways to protect your health and prevent flare-ups, explore the full BV prevention tips guide. And if you haven’t yet, check the master resource page on Bacterial Vaginosis — it’s got everything from A to Z.

Gwenna Aazee

Dr. Gwenna Aazee is a board-certified Internal Medicine Physician with a special focus on hypertension management, chronic disease prevention, and patient education. With years of experience in both clinical practice and medical writing, she’s passionate about turning evidence-based medicine into accessible, actionable advice. Through her work at Healthusias.com, Dr. Aazee empowers readers to take charge of their health with confidence and clarity. Off the clock, she enjoys deep dives into nutrition research, long walks with her rescue pup, and simplifying medical jargon one article at a time.