How to Avoid Overcommitting During Anxiety Recovery for Real Progress
It took me a while to realize that one of the sneakiest ways my anxiety was spiraling out of control wasn’t through panic attacks or racing thoughts—it was through my calendar. I had this habit of saying “yes” to everything. Volunteering for events, picking up extra shifts, helping friends move, joining group chats I had zero time for—you name it. On the surface, I looked productive. Inside? I was unraveling. So if you’re navigating recovery and constantly feel stretched thin, let’s talk about how to avoid overcommitting during anxiety recovery—because trust me, it makes a bigger difference than you think.
Why Overcommitting Quietly Undermines Your Recovery
When you’re in recovery from anxiety, your nervous system is already trying to recalibrate. Throwing too many obligations into the mix is like tossing weights onto a tightrope walker. You might manage for a while, but eventually, something’s going to give. And often, it’s your progress.
The Need to Please and Perform
So many of us struggling with anxiety are people-pleasers at heart. We’re afraid that if we say no, we’ll disappoint someone or seem unreliable. This urge can quietly sabotage recovery because you’re prioritizing others’ needs over your own well-being. Sound familiar? Yeah, been there.
The Myth of “Staying Busy Helps”
Sure, a little distraction can sometimes help. But when you’re constantly booked, you don’t get the downtime your mind desperately needs to heal. Overthinking thrives in exhaustion. The more overloaded you are, the more vulnerable you become to anxious spirals.
Recognizing When You’re Overcommitting
Signs You’re Saying Yes Too Much
- Feeling dread instead of excitement for most plans
- Using caffeine or energy drinks just to “make it through the day”
- Canceling often because you’re too drained
- Snapping at people close to you—aka irritability from mental overload
- Sleep getting worse, not better
Tracking Your Commitments
I started using a basic journal (yes, old school) to list what I committed to each week. Seeing it on paper was a wake-up call. It helped me realize just how much I was piling on. Try doing the same—it’s a lot harder to deny burnout when it’s right in front of you. You might even combine this with journaling techniques for anxious thoughts.
Simple Strategies to Avoid Overcommitting
1. Default to “Let Me Check My Schedule”
This one simple phrase gave me the space I needed to stop automatically saying yes. It doesn’t mean no—it just buys you time to see if you can genuinely take something on without stress.
2. Practice Intentional Scheduling
Instead of filling every hour, leave intentional gaps in your calendar. Use that time for rest, walking, meditation, or even just zoning out. One of the best things I ever did? Schedule actual time for breathing exercises. Sounds small, but it changed my days.
3. Use the “3 Priority Rule”
Each week, I focus on three things I *must* do. Everything else becomes optional. This reduces the pressure of having to do it all. It’s especially helpful if you’re dealing with high-functioning anxiety, where outward performance masks inner chaos.
4. Let Go of the Guilt
This was the hardest part for me. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you aware. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and during anxiety recovery, your “cup” is already pretty drained. If you’re struggling with guilt, this resource on setting boundaries during anxiety might help.
5. Say “No” Without a Story
Here’s a little secret: you don’t owe anyone an essay. Just “I won’t be able to, but thank you for thinking of me” is more than enough. The more you practice this, the easier it gets. Seriously. I used to overexplain everything. Now I don’t, and the world kept turning.
How Overcommitting Affects Physical Health
Adrenal Fatigue Is Real
When you constantly say yes and push yourself, your body lives in fight-or-flight mode. Cortisol doesn’t get a break. Eventually, this can show up as fatigue, brain fog, stomach issues, or even trouble focusing.
The Anxiety-Stomach Connection
Ever notice your digestion goes haywire when you’re stressed? That’s no coincidence. The gut-brain axis is sensitive. Overcommitting increases stress, which messes with digestion and causes bloating, nausea, or worse.
Why Sleep Suffers First
If your brain feels like it’s still racing through a to-do list at 2 a.m., overcommitting might be the culprit. When I started cutting back on commitments, I didn’t just get more sleep—I got deeper sleep. And it finally felt like real rest, not just laying there exhausted.
Rebuilding Your Time Around Recovery
Schedule Downtime Like It’s an Appointment
Don’t wait until you’re burned out to rest. Build breaks into your day and guard them like you would any meeting. Use that time for activities from lifestyle-based recovery approaches—like nature walks, grounding techniques, or low-stimulation hobbies.
Use Technology to Stay Honest
Apps like Notion or Trello can help you visualize just how much you’ve committed to. Seeing it laid out helps avoid that sneaky overbooking habit. It also makes it easier to notice patterns, like how you always overextend on weekends or agree to things late at night you regret in the morning.
Respect Your Limits (Even If Others Don’t)
Some people might not get why you’re scaling back. That’s okay. Recovery isn’t about pleasing others—it’s about healing. I had to learn to be okay with disappointing people short-term so I could show up better long-term.
Want a deeper look into the types of boundaries that help you stay balanced during recovery? Check out this pillar article on how anxiety disrupts your routine. For a broader understanding of how anxiety quietly runs the show, this foundational article explains it perfectly.
Reevaluating Your Relationship with Productivity
If you’re like I was, you probably tie your self-worth to how productive you are. You feel “off” when you’re not ticking things off a to-do list. That’s not ambition—that’s anxiety disguised as hustle. Recovery demands that we dismantle this mindset and build something gentler.
The Lies Hustle Culture Tells You
“You’re lazy if you rest.” “You’ll fall behind if you slow down.” Sound familiar? These messages are everywhere, especially in high-pressure jobs or fast-paced industries. But they ignore how human we are. If you’re always trying to outrun anxiety with productivity, you’re just wearing a different costume over the same fear.
Learning to Value Stillness
Stillness used to make me squirm. Doing nothing felt like failure. But over time, I learned that slowing down is a skill. Now, I look forward to those moments of silence—reading a book without an agenda, watching clouds, sipping tea. That kind of rest isn’t optional during recovery—it’s required. If you’re stuck in that always-on mode, this piece on how anxiety robs your joy hits hard.
Creating a “No List” for Recovery
What Is a No List?
A No List is exactly what it sounds like—a list of things you’ve decided not to engage in for a while. For me, this included last-minute events, group chats with constant updates, any task without a clear “why,” and social favors I felt obligated to accept. You can create your own based on your triggers and patterns.
Example “No List” Items
- No double-booking evenings
- No new projects during flare-ups
- No phone calls past 9 p.m.
- No saying “yes” immediately—always pause first
It might feel harsh at first, but these boundaries create breathing room. You can always add or remove things as your recovery deepens.
What to Do Instead of Overcommitting
Swap Performance with Presence
Instead of constantly chasing productivity, try immersing yourself in a single moment. I used to multitask everything—even my downtime. Watching Netflix while checking email. Talking to a friend while scrolling social media. Now, I pick one thing at a time. It’s wildly calming. Presence beats performance every time.
Pick One “Energy-Giving” Activity a Day
This could be a walk, cooking something new, chatting with a close friend, or even playing a video game you love. If it gives energy back instead of draining you, it belongs in your day. Want ideas? Here’s a solid list of self-help activities that promote healing.
Embrace Small Wins
On rough days, getting out of bed and brushing your teeth might be your win—and that’s enough. Recovery isn’t linear. Some days are setbacks. Others are breakthroughs. What matters is that you keep showing up, even when it’s quietly, even when it’s slow.
Managing Invitations Without Guilt
If social invitations make your stomach drop, you’re not alone. The fear of letting people down can be heavy. But you’re allowed to say, “I’m focusing on my mental health right now.” You can even suggest lower-pressure alternatives—like a walk instead of a party, or a phone chat instead of brunch. Need backup? This article on the anxiety of being judged might resonate.
Stop Explaining So Much
I used to give long-winded reasons for why I couldn’t make plans. Most people don’t need all that. “I’m taking it slow this week” is fine. If someone pushes, that’s on them—not you. Trust me, your real friends will understand.
The Role of Self-Compassion in Saying No
Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
If a friend was overwhelmed and healing, you’d tell them to rest, right? So why don’t we extend the same grace to ourselves? Self-compassion is what sustains recovery. It’s what keeps you from spiraling after a bad day.
Let Go of the “Perfect Recovery” Image
I used to think recovery meant becoming super zen and productive. But honestly, most of the healing happens in sweatpants, with messy feelings, and lots of trial and error. It’s real. It’s raw. And it works.
Remember: You Are Allowed to Disappoint People
This one was game-changing. You are not a machine. You are a human healing from chronic stress. Sometimes that means letting someone else down to protect your peace. That’s not selfish—it’s survival.
Resources to Stay on Track Without Burnout
Trackers and Journals
Using a habit tracker can help you stay grounded. Not for productivity—but to stay accountable to your healing. Mark off rest days. Highlight when you turned something down and felt good about it.
Support That Doesn’t Drain You
Try anxiety support groups that work on your schedule. Explore virtual therapy or forums that fit your energy levels. You deserve support that meets you where you are.
Reading from Experts Who Get It
If you want depth without the fluff, I highly recommend exploring resources like nimh.nih.gov or adaa.org. These aren’t clickbait—they’re science-backed, deeply helpful, and incredibly validating when you feel lost in the weeds.
Recovery isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about pulling back, gently, until you can breathe again. If anxiety has been calling the shots in your day-to-day, I can’t recommend this guide enough on how it sneaks into your routine. Also, take time to read this main article on anxiety’s hidden control—it puts everything into perspective.
Camellia Wulansari is a dedicated Medical Assistant at a local clinic and a passionate health writer at Healthusias.com. With years of hands-on experience in patient care and a deep interest in preventive medicine, she bridges the gap between clinical knowledge and accessible health information. Camellia specializes in writing about digestive health, chronic conditions like GERD and hypertension, respiratory issues, and autoimmune diseases, aiming to empower readers with practical, easy-to-understand insights. When she’s not assisting patients or writing, you’ll find her enjoying quiet mornings with coffee and a medical journal in hand—or jamming to her favorite metal band, Lamb of God.
