How to Manage Anxiety About Making Mistakes Without Feeling Broken
Mistakes. Ugh. We all make them—big, small, sometimes embarrassingly in front of a crowd. I’ve lost sleep over typos in emails, spiraled for hours after saying something awkward in a meeting, or second-guessed a parenting decision I made days ago. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Managing anxiety about making mistakes isn’t about becoming perfect—it’s about shifting how we respond when things don’t go as planned. Let’s dig into it.
Why Are Mistakes So Anxiety-Inducing?
We’re wired to avoid pain and seek approval—it’s human. But for some of us, especially if you grew up in hypercritical environments or had perfectionist role models, even tiny slip-ups can feel like catastrophes. This kind of pressure triggers your brain’s threat response, even if the “threat” is just sending a message with a missing attachment.
According to research from the NIH, perfectionism and anxiety are often tangled together. The fear of mistakes isn’t just uncomfortable—it can actually keep us from living freely or even trying new things.
Common Signs You’re Struggling With This Kind of Anxiety
- You replay small mistakes in your mind for hours (or days).
- You avoid opportunities just in case you might mess up.
- You apologize excessively—even when there’s nothing to apologize for.
- Your self-worth is heavily tied to performance.
- You procrastinate until the last minute because it feels safer than risking failure.
If that hits a little too close to home, you’re in the right place.
Is It Just Anxiety, or Something More?
Sometimes anxiety about making mistakes stems from deeper patterns. Maybe you’re dealing with childhood trauma, or maybe you’ve unknowingly built habits around avoiding failure. It could even be part of a bigger picture, like Generalized Anxiety Disorder or social anxiety—especially if your worry is affecting relationships or job performance.
In my case, I didn’t realize how much anxiety was holding me back until I learned more about the hidden causes of anxiety. Understanding the “why” was step one in learning to let go of the pressure to be flawless.
How to Manage Anxiety About Making Mistakes (Without Losing Your Mind)
1. Challenge Your Inner Critic
That voice in your head telling you you’ve ruined everything? It’s lying. Start catching those thoughts and questioning them. Ask yourself:
- What’s the worst that could realistically happen?
- Would I speak to a friend the way I’m speaking to myself?
- Has this “mistake” really changed anything long-term?
I’ve even written these questions on sticky notes near my workspace—it’s a small habit that’s changed my internal dialogue completely.
2. Practice Self-Compassion (Yeah, Seriously)
I used to roll my eyes at this, but learning how to be kind to myself made a huge difference. When you screw up, talk to yourself the way you would to someone you love. Take responsibility, sure—but don’t punish yourself endlessly.
Research published on apa.org shows that self-compassion can actually reduce anxiety and increase resilience over time. It’s not fluff. It’s neuroscience.
3. Reframe Mistakes as Growth Opportunities
This one took time, but I started asking myself: “What did this teach me?” instead of “Why am I like this?” I started seeing slip-ups as signs that I was trying—pushing out of my comfort zone.
For example, the first time I led a team project, I missed a critical deadline. I owned up to it, adjusted, and guess what? The client didn’t fire us. My team respected my honesty. That mistake taught me more than a dozen “wins” ever could.
4. Use Grounding Techniques
When your mind starts spiraling after a mistake, try grounding exercises to stay in the present. My go-to is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
This trick yanks you out of “what if” mode and brings you back to now. It’s also a lifesaver during work presentations or tough conversations.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Just Human
Anxiety about making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re weak or unprofessional. It just means you care—and maybe you’ve learned to fear judgment more than necessary. But the truth is, most people don’t remember your mistakes nearly as much as you think. They’re too busy thinking about their own.
If this hits home, you might want to read more on psychotherapy approaches for anxiety—especially CBT, which can be incredibly effective for this type of thinking trap. Also, take a look at this powerful read: Why Anxiety Disorders Can Secretly Control Your Daily Life.
Build Habits That Make Mistakes Less Scary
You know what’s underrated? Building small, sustainable habits that reduce the emotional “crash” after a mistake. I’m not talking about hacks—I mean routines that shift how your brain processes errors. For me, one game-changer was journaling when I’m spiraling. I don’t do it perfectly (ironically), but even writing three sentences helps me gain perspective and let go of the guilt faster.
Another surprisingly helpful thing? Creating a post-mistake ritual. Sounds silly, but I literally pause, stretch my shoulders, and tell myself: “Alright. You’re allowed to be human.” It breaks the shame loop.
Healthy Routines to Try
- Daily brain dumps in a notebook to declutter your thoughts
- 10-minute meditations using free apps or YouTube
- Progressive muscle relaxation—especially after high-stress moments
- Limiting caffeine (I didn’t want to, but it helped)
- Scheduling weekly “low-stakes” tasks where you expect imperfection
When It’s Time to Get Professional Support
If your fear of mistakes is affecting your job, relationships, or quality of life, therapy is not a failure—it’s an act of courage. I put it off for years thinking I “wasn’t anxious enough” to need help. Truth? I didn’t realize how much anxiety was running the show until I actually sat down with someone trained to help me unpack it.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the top evidence-based therapies for managing mistake-related anxiety. It helps you identify and reframe those automatic negative thoughts before they snowball. For some, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) might also help—especially if you struggle with control or harsh self-judgment.
Rewire Your Relationship With “Failure”
This one’s personal. I used to tie every mistake to my self-worth. If I slipped up at work or forgot a birthday, I’d stew in shame for days. What helped? Changing the meaning I assigned to “failure.”
I started treating errors like data—information I could use. When you reframe failure as feedback, it softens the emotional blow. That email typo? A reminder to proofread slower. The awkward presentation? A sign I need more prep time or a different strategy. Over time, this mindset builds emotional resilience, not just for mistakes—but for life.
Here’s a quote I keep on my desk: “You are allowed to be a work in progress and still be worthy.”
The Role of Self-Worth in Mistake Anxiety
Let’s get real—if your self-worth is tied to being right, performing well, or impressing others, mistakes feel like an identity crisis. That’s not your fault. Many of us were raised in environments where mistakes were punished or mocked.
To break the cycle, you have to rebuild your self-worth outside of performance. Who are you without achievement? What do you offer beyond getting it “right”? This is deep, slow work, but it matters. One helpful resource I leaned on was this piece about how anxiety quietly disrupts your routine—it showed me how subtle that damage can be.
Build a Healthier Relationship With Feedback
If feedback feels like a personal attack, you’re not broken—you’re probably just dealing with deeply rooted anxiety. I used to read every performance review like a psychological dissection. The trick? Reframing feedback as collaboration, not criticism.
Try asking for feedback before it’s formally given. This turns it into a conversation rather than a verdict. Bonus? It shows emotional maturity—and builds trust at work or in relationships. Over time, you’ll train your nervous system to see feedback as normal, not dangerous.
You’re Capable of Handling Mistakes—Even Big Ones
I’ll leave you with this: anxiety about making mistakes doesn’t go away overnight. But it can be managed, understood, and softened. You won’t stop making mistakes (none of us do), but you’ll stop seeing them as the end of the world. And that’s where freedom starts.
Want to go deeper? You’ll find powerful strategies in our core guide: Lifestyle & Self-Help Tips for Anxiety. If you haven’t already, read this essential breakdown of how anxiety controls our lives more than we realize. Both are packed with insights and real-life strategies that helped me—and can help you too.
Camellia Wulansari is a dedicated Medical Assistant at a local clinic and a passionate health writer at Healthusias.com. With years of hands-on experience in patient care and a deep interest in preventive medicine, she bridges the gap between clinical knowledge and accessible health information. Camellia specializes in writing about digestive health, chronic conditions like GERD and hypertension, respiratory issues, and autoimmune diseases, aiming to empower readers with practical, easy-to-understand insights. When she’s not assisting patients or writing, you’ll find her enjoying quiet mornings with coffee and a medical journal in hand—or jamming to her favorite metal band, Lamb of God.
